


Let's Get This Started

by d__T



Series: The Afternoon Light Cuts to Size [4]
Category: Blood Drive (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Blood, Chatlogs, Press Releases, Rasher being petty about everything, Slink being Extra:tm:, Waivers, a whole bunch of non prose content basically, oh look it's my god damn squad of OCs mucking up the place again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-21 02:22:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13731102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d__T/pseuds/d__T
Summary: Finding people whowantto work on your murdershow is a challenge.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Pre/Season 2

“Oi! Can we borrow some of those AKI units that were around at last season’s finale?” Rasher hollers at Slink across the conference room. He’s slowly calling his way through the names and numbers listed in a thin leather bound notebook that sits in front of him in an attempt to contract some labor to help with the roadshow. Or even ground base. No-one’s biting.

Slink, on the other side of the table, is surrounded by an array of last season’s plans on one side, an empty array of plans for the coming season on the other side, and a telephone in the middle. Slink barely replies, making a single  _ no _ sound.

“Why? They seem helpful.” Rasher means  _ obedient  _ and  _ difficult to kill _ . 

“I said! No!” Slink shouts at him. “I don’t like them.”

“They’re even pretty. Could make it this season’s theme. People go for that kinda shit, right?”

“They don’t  _ die _ properly.” Slink snarls.

“Fucking neither do you,” Rasher says. “But we probably don’t have to pay them and if you haven’t noticed, we’re  _ fucking broke _ . We can’t get real live humans for this little money.”

“‘Real live humans’,” Slink mimics. The air quotes are like falling glass. “Aren’t instantly reporting every single thing back to Heart for analysis.”

“Oh, so it’s about ~artistic vision~.”

Slink makes an aggressively affirmative sound. “I can  _ not _ have them babysitting me. Drains the suspense right out of the story.”

“There is no story! It’s all gore! Okay, okay, but you gotta suck whoever’s dick is gonna give us money to pay for this.”

“You do it, you’re spending the money!”

“I’m not the pretty one!” Rasher flaps a hand at Slink. “Go on!”

Slink horks back a laugh. “You’re so sweet!”

And then instantly later: “Those fanboys will absolutely work for free, just to be close to the carnage.”

Thinking longingly of the days where the weirdest shit he had to handle was Red overdoses, Rasher holds up a finger. “They’re stupid as fuck; thinking they’re hot shit for having got a bootleg tape and watched it ten times. Fuck, I’m gonna have to teach them everything!”

Slink shrugs. “Promise them food and board and then feed all the ones that puke at the first fueling to the engines. The rest’ll tighten right up.”

Rasher rubs his face. Without showing too much concern, he says, “They want to skin you and wear you. They want to skin  _ me _ and wear  _ me _ . I’m  _ attached _ to my skin. I don’t like this.”


	2. Press Release, Spring 1995

The notorious reality TV series  _ Blood Drive _ announced its second season on Wednesday. The first season, released summer of last year, followed a group of road racers across the Southwest Territories as they attempted to fuel their cars with human blood and survive a number of surprise obstacles. This season promises more of the same with the additional challenge of taking down last year’s champion and series creator Julian Slink. 

Gerald Smithers, a Heart Enterprises executive, responded to questions about last seasons bodycount by saying that while all the blood is real, there is no danger to civilians. While identifying missing persons is increasingly difficult in these tumultuous times, at least forty people were killed onscreen during the first season. There have been a number of calls for the series to be cancelled or postponed to protect human life.

Showrunner Julian Slink calls this “simple minded folly” and promises that this season will be even “more delightfully gruesome” than the last.


	3. irc.irchighway.net/ratpack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whisper, Renholder, and Indigo talk about the upcoming season.

``

W: ren  
W: they’re staging a second season   
W: you still got that guy who wants an engine?

Server: W is away  
Server: R is back

R: sure  
R: routes?

Server: R is away  
Server: W is back

W: no announced yet

Server: R is back

R: I’ll call him

Server: I is back

I: The help wanted ad is still up  
I: We could have a guy on the inside

W: Indy no

I: Indy yes

R: being chasers is as close as I wanna get

Server: ***W agrees

W: I’ll spin up the wagon

R: Indy, keep an eye on those routes  
R: I’ll see about getting paid

I: ok


	4. irc.irchighway.net/ratpack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just slightly after the last chapter, the intrepid gang makes a reckless decision.

Server: I is back

I: They’re releasing the stages night by night

Server: R is back

R: FUCK

I: help is still wanted

R: It starts like next week, right?

Server: W is back

I: yeah

R: jesus

W: oh my god   
W: we follow really closely   
W: we pre run stages when they’re announced

I: the stages were huge last year   
I: we can’t afford that

Server: ***W sighs

R: we follow real closely

I: enter as a race team, consistantly come in two from the bottom

W: …

R: …  
R: … yeah ok. Entrance fee?

I: pint of blood   
I: I volunteer you, ren <3

R: fuck you too   
R: W, how’s that wagon?

W: spendy bitch   
W: until they give us an engine

R: we’re keeping the gasser

W: no   
W: we’re getting two blood engines

I: guys   
I: Heart will literally kill us   
I: guys

W: gotta go fast

R: we’re racing

I: I never thought youd go for it

W: GOTTA GO FAST

R: you need a hand?

W: no   
W: yes   
W: yes

I: >_<

R: yeah yeah we’re coming over


	5. Waiver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They say that signing contracts is like signing your life away...

**Please initial that you understand the following:**

 

___ Human blood is the required fuel for your new engine

___ Your body probably does not produce enough blood to fuel your new engine and it is inadvisable to attempt to fuel your engine yourself

___ Murder is still illegal in most territories

___ Desecration of dead bodies is still illegal in most territories

___ If you get arrested or otherwise detained, the race and its sponsors will not assist you. No bail or legal assistance will be provided.

___ You do not get to keep your engine

___ The race and its sponsors are not liable for your death.

 

**Good Luck!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hired help is doing just fine!

Rasher is sitting on the edge of the stage, looking out over the camp for the evening. Daylight is unkind to the set pieces, showing all the seams and the stains and the dust. It looks as bad as he feels- a week on the road with this lot will wear anyone out, but the night is coming quickly to cover the sins of exhaustion.

Fake hiring a pack of rabid fanboys instead of real roadies went exactly as well as Rasher had expected. A lot of suburban hoo-rah masculinity, and one actually had rabies.

In-fucking-credible.

Maybe next year they’ll hire the fangirls who want Slink to dismember and fuck them and make continued idiocy the fucking theme. At least the trucks don’t care if the fuel has rabies.

He’s so  _ tired _ .

Somewhere behind him, he hears the clunk of Slink’s boots on the stage floorboards. Without moving, he calls out, “Regretting hiring this lot instead of some AKIs yet?”

“We can fucking hear you!” One of the remaining roadies hollers back. By dint of surviving this long, he’s earned the title.

Rasher extends a middle finger in the general direction of the voice, and then lets his arm fall. The footsteps continue behind him and then Slink is kneeling around him, trapping him with hands on his shoulders. Slink’s clawed ring digs in slightly when Rasher inhales.

Slink whispers. “Look at all of them. Young and stupid. They can’t kill me, no matter how much they want to. They don’t know how.”

Rasher nods. He has never wanted to break free of Slink’s grasp more than he does now; he asked but he can feel some serious Heart bullshit about to come his way and he does not want it.

“The AKIs were created at the same time I was. We were trained together. We were trained  _ on _ each other.” Slink breathes. “She’s killed more of my bodies than I can remember. She’s come the closest to killing me.”

Slink covers Rasher’s throat with one hand. The chain connecting a ring to a bracelet slides coldly down under his shirt collar. “She is the only entity who can kill me. And when Heart decides that I am too inconvenient, they will send her to put me down.”

“No need to make it easy.” Slink gently squeezes.

Rasher shivers under the pressure. “You’re afraid of them.”

The claw ring leaves an oozing, curling slice across Rasher’s throat as Slink suddenly withdraws his hand. He hisses, vicious. “She is a contingency I plan for.”

Rasher grumbles. “Aight, no AKIs.”

Slink rubs a finger across the gash and then looks contemplatively at the red smear on his bare fingertip. “Stay away from her. She likes to torture and make clones.”

“Runs in the fucking family, I see.” Rasher mutters.

Slink barks a laugh, then walks away.

Rasher twists to look after him, sick with fear in a way he hasn’t been since the first time he watched Slink die and just as angry as he was at the following reincarnation.


End file.
